The Lost Aquaman Pilot

Ok, so it's not lost, and it's not a pilot, but I've transcribed it for you anyways...

This is apparently a UCLA Student Project that has somehow made it into the hands of collectors everywhere. My very grainy copy supplied this transcription (which is probably fairly inaccurate in parts). Read the summary, and maybe read the transcript, and I hope you enjoy it...

Quick Summary:

Arthur Curry is a millionaire Marine Biologist who has founded the Curry Institute. He is actually Aquaman in disguise, trying to keep tabs on human activity and prevent land dwellers from destroying the ocean. Our story gets a plot when the evil Angler introduces a toxin to the ocean in order to blackmail the Pacific Coast into giving him 24 million dollars. While courageous Katy King (Arthur's love interest) works on finding an anti-toxin, Aquaman uses his underwater resources to find the secret hideout of the Angler. But the Angler is one step ahead of him, and kidnaps Katy (who's just discovered the anti-toxin, of course) while preparing for Arthur's attack. When he does attack, Aquaman easily defeats the stupid henchmen, but the Angler has set a trap for him...

A picture of the Earth, with the caption "A FARROUT-KLIEN PRODUCTION" over it.

Narrator #1 (This narrator has a sportscaster kind of voice, like he's describing a horse race or something): Earth, the Water Planet. Over 3 quarters of the surface is covered with water.

Narrator #2 (This narrator has a thick French accent): Although each year civilizations become more dependent on the marine ecosystem for her food sources and energy needs, exploitative entities threaten to destroy her and her marine inhabitants. Yet strangely, nature sometimes seems to compensate.

N1: One morning, along a seemingly deserted La Hoya Coast highway in 1961...

Sound of screeching tires and rock music, the picture is a set of storyboard cartoons that show a car with two passengers zipping along a winding coast highway. The driver is a blond man, the passenger is a woman.

Male Voice (the driver): Alright, alright, now, uh, breathe in and out, yeah, breathe in and out, just like the Lamaze class...

Male Voice impersonating a woman's voice (the passenger): If I breathe any harder, I'm probably gonna hyperventilate, like YOU!

N1: Unknown to the Currys, a speeding seafood delivery truck also navigates the treacherous coastal routes.

Sound of screeching brakes. Storyboard shows truck, then car flying off the cliff.

Passenger: Oh, no-o-o-o-o-o-o...!!!

Driver: Ahhhhhhhhhhhggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Storyboard of car sticking straight up out of water.

N2: It would take a twist of fate for any being to survive such an awful automobile accident, yet, destiny takes it's course.

Dolphin chirp, storyboard of blond baby boy.

N1: The newborn is maraculously saved, and adopted by the dolphin family as one of their own.

N2: Through the biological process of adaptation, the Curry child is permitted lengthy underwater stays on a single breath of air.

Storyboard pictures of baby growing up.

N1: As young Arthur grows, click radar communication with his dolphin family is learned.

N2: Soon the Aqua Sapien is able to extend his new-found click radar to other marine forms.

N1: As the Aquaman begins his travels, he finds riches and other mysterious links with the world above. Captain Coustea now re-accounts his incredible first sighting of the Aqua Sapien.

Coustea: "We were shooting our documentary, "The Weepers of the Sea" offshore 20 miles off La Faz. The annual migration of the California Grays provide all too easy targets for the Russian poachers" (Whale song in background) "Just as the slaughter began..."

Storyboard of Coustea, whales, and suddenly Aquaman appearing very cross.

Coustea in picture shouts: La bar, Philipe, la bar!

Coustea: "...Like the vengeant Neptune himself, the Aquaman arose to bravely stand off the poaching vessel. It was Magnifique! Astounded by this strange aqua-man, the Russian trawler retreated back to the open sea."

Coustea's assistant: Oh, uh, Jacques, uh, well in the excitement, I, uh, forgot to activate the, uh, camera.

Coustea: It cannot be! (French curse), Philipe, we could have won an emmy! I shall spank you and make you swim backwards in the sea! (more curses in French).

N1: Realizing the true enemy of the sea dwells on land, Aquaman knew he must keep a watch on their activities...

Storyboard gradually changes to live action.

N2: Using the great wealth from the sea floor he was able to assume the identity of Dr Arthur Curry, an elusive marine biologist and founder of the Curry Marine Institute. Yet, something seems strangely peculiar on the La Hoya coastline today...

Aquaman, aka Arthur Curry walks through his institute. He is wearing a white lab coat and whistling tunelessly. Lots of bubbling noise in the background, he is walking through an area filled with tanks. A football game is playing somewhere. Arthur picks up a sea creature from a tank.

Arthur: Spike! I told you to stay out of this tank! Now look, she's no good for you. Stay away from her, she's bad news.

He tosses the creature into another tank. He reaches into another tank.

Arthur: You guys hungry?

He pulls out some fish food and sprinkles it around. Then he looks around carefully. Seeing no one, he tosses a handful of fish food into his mouth and crunches it idly. He looks in another tanks, shakes a starfish's, um, tentacle...

Arthur: Lefty, baby!

Suddenly Arthur gets interested in the football game. One of the teams is the Dolphins. Goes to a tank with a lobster in it.

Arthur: Hey, Sam, what's the score of the game?

Lobster: Whine!

Arthur: What?!!? Hey, listen bud, what's your problem? What's the score of the game?

Arthur sticks his head in the tank and starts arguing with the Lobster underwater. Dr Katy King enters with a couple of vials.

Katy: Arthur? What are you doing?

Katy crouches down to look in the tank, Arthur notices her and yanks his head from the tank.

Arthur: Uh, Katy, Uh, uh, uh, I thought I lost a contact lense in the tank!

Katy: Did you find it?

Arthur: No, but I will, it's bound to be in there someplace.

Katy: Arthur, you don't wear contact lenses.

He stares at her a second.

Arthur: Ha! That's right! Boy I was, I was beginning to get upset.

Arthur puts his glasses on. Points to Katy's vials.

Arthur: What are these?

Katy: Oh! Arthur, thousands of dead fish... (she trails off, noticing his hair) Your hair! It's dry!

Intern enters, grabs the remote control for the TV.

Intern: Dr Curry, Dr King! Change the station!!!

Arthur grabs for remote as Intern changes channel.

Arthur: Hey, wait a minute! That's a great game!

Intern: It's The Angler!

Ominous music.

Angler (on TV): If I am not paid 24 million dollars within the next 24 hours, you can say good-bye Pacific Ocean, good-bye Sushi bars, good-bye Moby Jack!

Close-up on Arthur.

Arthur: The fiend!

Angler: This is just a sample of what my secret sauce can do.

Holds up dead fish.

Katy: So, the Angler is behind this toxin! Didn't they put him in prison a couple of years ago?

Arthur: He was.

Katy: Didn't he put 30 great white sharks in the Great Salt Lake?

Arthur: Held the Mormon Tabernacle Choir hostage for two days before we could stop him.

Katy (mouths): "we?"

Arthur (not noticing): Threatened to throw each member into the lake one by one to be eaten alive. First the tenor section, then the soprano section, then the, wait, no the...(trails off)

Angler on screen appears to be having trouble breathing.

Katy: What's the matter?

Arthur: The Angler has a potassium deficiency.

On screen, voice says "Angler, here!" and Angler catches a banana thrown from off screen and starts peeling it.

Arthur: If he doesn't eat a banana every 30 minutes he starts to spaz out, and then he'll die.

Katy: Oh...

Angler (recovered): And in closing, to my good friend, Aquaman, try and interfere, chowder-breath, and you and your little mermaid friend will become sushi! (Manic laughter)

Katy: I wonder what he meant... Arthur? Arthur!

Arthur has vanished.

Arthur runs to starfish tank, starfish leaps into his hand, he sticks it in his belt. Scenes of Arthur running from institute campus to cliffside where he leaps into the water. Underwater shot shows his clothes have instantly changed into the familiar orange shirt and green pants.

Dolphin chirping sounds.

Arthur (emerging from water): Mom, Dad, I need your help. I need to find out the Angler's hideout, and fast.

Two dolphins chirp at him.

Arthur: Good work. The whole Pacific Ocean's at stake. Then we're off!

Arthur rides off on back of dolphins.

Scene Change - Angler's Hideout

N2: At the seemingly deserted angling pier, the plot thickens.

Voice in background is giving current sea condition information. Henchman sits at monitoring equipment inside Angler's hideout. Angler is scaling a fish.

Henchman: Angler! I'm picking up something on the monitor!

Angler: What is it?

Monitor clearly shows Aquaman riding the dolphins.

Angler: Aquaman, you fool! I warned you not to interfere! Now you shall pay dear! Fish-breath! (to Henchman) Get my boat ready, I have a mermaid to catch!

Scene Change - Curry Institute, Lab

N2: Meanwhile, back at the Curry institue, Dr King attempts a synthesis of an antitoxin.

Katy: I think I've got something! Yes, I think this is it. Ok, calm down, calm down Katy, don't get your panties in a bundle.

Katy turns around and screams at the sight of the Angler, about to kidnap her.

Scene Change - Angler's Hideout.

Katy is tied up and looks extremely uncomfortable.

Henchman: Angler, our sensors say something is approaching very quickly.

Angler: What is it?

Henchman: I don't know, we don't have anything on camera yet.

Angler: Go warn my warriors of field and stream that Aquaman is on his way! (to Katy) You aquatic playmate will have quite a surprise in store for him when he shows up. (manic laughter)

Scene Change: Outside

Henchmen are lounging about.

Henchman: Hey you idiots! Keep an eye out! We've got Aquaman on the monitor.

The henchmen pick up their weapons and look surly.

Scene Change: Inside

Henchman: Everything is under control outside.

Scene Change: Outside

Aquaman arrives. He crawld up with his starfish and puts it in a bucket. When a henchman comes to investigate, the starfish leaps up and wraps itself around his face. Henchman staggers and falls into the water.

Hench 2: Where'd he go?

Hench 3: I can't see him!

Aquaman leaps up onto the pier and smirks.

Scene Change: Inside

Henchman: No wait! Aquaman is on the monitor!

Angler: The fool!

Scene Change: Outside

Hench 2 tries to harpoon Aquaman. He easily knock him into a boat. Hench 2 doesn't get up.

Scene Change: Inside

Angler: The idiot!

Scene Change: Outside

The starfish jumps back into Aquaman's hand. Aquaman throws it into the stomach of hench 3 like a bladed throwing star. Hench 3 doubles over in pain and doesn't get up.

Scene Change: Inside

Angler: The moron! Get him! Don't let him leave alive! (to Katy) Watch as my henchman makes scallops of your Aqua-savior!

Scene Change: Outside

Henchman wanders outside with harpoon gun. He aims the gun at Aquaman, who slips on a banana peel and falls to the deck.

Henchman: Game's over, ducky-boy.

Aquaman: Lefty!

Starfish tries to escape body of hench 3, but can't free itself. Henchman fires, Aquaman dodges.

Scene Change: Inside

Angler: I'll have to take care of him myself! (goes outside)

Scene Change: Outside

Henchman and Aquaman fighting. Aquaman brutally disables his foe and throws him into the water.

Angler: Heh, heh, heh, King of Guppies!

Angler uses fishing rod to snare Aquaman and laughs manically.

N1: Can it be? Our Aqua Sapien ensnared by the insidious Angler?

N2: What will happen to the San Diego coastline? Only Maritime will tell in... THE CAST OF THE ANGLER!